I decided to write this blog for a few reasons. The main reason was to help me cope with the roller-coaster of emotions that comes with this process. Another reason is to help others understand the complexity of this process and to keep them up to date during this busy time. It really is hard to call everyone and explain the story, etc when you have a 3 year old and a newborn so I figure if I just update regularly on what's happening I can keep some of them in the loop. I also love feedback and am very open to new things and ideas as well as hearing from others who are going through a similar process or people maybe thinking about choosing foster to adopt as a way to build their forever family. Those of you who personally know the family know that my name is not Carin and my husbands name certainly isn't Nepenthe. There is a level of confidentially that is required when working with foster kids and family and I am choosing to keep this blog anonymous.

I feel before this blog should start with a little background. My husband, Nepenthe (his chosen blog name that I am not sure I will ever be able to spell) and I our high school sweethearts. We always knew that we wanted kids and after we got married at the age of 23, we decided we should talk about this more with doctors since their were medical problems that I thought might hinder us from having a biological child. My suspicions were correct and we were fast tracked to IVF where after unsuccessful attempts, we decided to look into adoption. We researched the pros and cons of all types and finally ended up deciding foster to adopt was where we wanted to be. In December of 2009, we took the mandatory classes and our homestudy was officially done and ready by March 2010. On April 21, our whole life changed when we got the phone call about Scott. He was a 14 month old Hispanic infant with mild developmental delays. He transitioned into our home by the end of May and by the end of July he was thriving and was no longer considered delayed. We really struck the lottery with him since by August, his bio-parents rights were terminated and by December he was officially ours forever. Around his 2nd birthday, I made the decision that I wanted to be a stay at home mom (which I secretly dreamed of my whole life )and by June that dream came true when I quit my graphic design job at a local newspaper. It was defiantly a dramatic change but it was a delight to spend so much time with our son on a daily basis. A year went by and both Scott and I were now comfortable with our daily routine and enjoying life and eachother. My husband then got a new job opportunity that meant he could work from home and after settling in we began discussing how to expand our family again. Now both Nepenthe and I still had the dream of one day having our own biological child but once again we became disappointed when our FET cycles did not result in a pregnancy. Naturally, after some grieving, we knew where to turn and we became relicensed in Aug 2012. Now we were pretty sure hitting the lottery twice was impossible and that this time would probably present a more challenging path and we were right. On Aug 27, we got a call about a newborn who was still in the hospital. We of course jumped at the opportunity and now it has been a month since we had Robert and things are slowly not heading where we would like it to. Robert is a fantastic baby and all of us have fallen head over heals with him. His mom unlike Scott's really is trying to get her act together and I commend her for that. She is a very nice young woman and the love she has for Robert is apparent. Due to his newness to the world and his moms disability, they are unsure how his case will turn out but wanted him to find a home that would adopt him if don't work out with his bio-Mom. Now that we have had him a month the idea of him leaving is terrifying but all we can do is hope and pray and take one day at a time.